Dialogue and Bridges

We need to have more dialogue. We need to build more bridges. Not only bridges over the rivers, but bridges of trust between individuals, communities, organizations, children and parents, students and teachers, people and authorities, states and countries. The list is long. The one sure way to build such bridges is through dialogue that generates trust.

We are going through tough times on almost all fronts: economic, social, political, national and international.  But instead of talking with each other, or even to each other, we are talking at each other. Hence the confusion and the chaos continue. We need good leaders who can also be great healers. Leaders who exercise power with justice, healers who bring peace through justice. Justice is the key word, but lacking to a large extent in our country and our world. Bias, favoritism, nepotism, suppression and oppression, self promotion at the cost of others, and many other factors hamper justice. Can there be peace without justice? And can there be true development without peace?

We have to ask these questions to ourselves, search within and out for answers, and articulate them in a trust enhancing dialogue. That will be a good way to celebrate sixty-five years of Independence of India this August.

Our families must be the first schools of dialogue. Children should be encouraged to take their parents in confidence and to tell them whatever they feel is wrong and unjust in their daily encounters. The parents must set the good example of dialogue among themselves and promote the same at home. The children will then be more open and articulate with others, hence healthier in their outlook. They would then be less burdened with the fear complex and suppression of unfavorable facts that cause further problems. Suicides may not then be the option to be considered. A child who is harassed physically or otherwise would feel secure to report the matter to the parents at the initial stage, averting aggravation. My thoughts go to the teenager who lost her promising life because of the shameful acts of her teacher.

People in general are afraid of authorities. They endure injustice to avoid harassment and persecution. They curse the authorities in the silence of their hearts and in whispers to their friends. If it is so among the adults, imagine how much worse it must be among helpless children. I know of a young boy who waited, till he passed out from school, to tell his caring father about the remarks his headmaster made and the wrong type of physical punishment given to him by one of his teachers. ‘I hate that school’, he said. He knew that matters would be worse for him if his father had to confront the school authorities when he was still in school. The boy also knew that his headmaster had made those remarks because his father was an outspoken member in the Parent-Teacher Association of the school.

I have brought to light what happens in the schools because the same is repeated in organizations, establishments, offices and even within the structures of some of our holy places. As far as government and other public offices are concerned, it is the order of the day. There are a number of people who accept the injustice meted out within organizations and establishments only because they have to earn their daily bread. If they report the matter to the higher authorities, they know that the higher authorities are not likely to take any action as long as it does not affect the profit and loss account. And so life goes on. The best performers are not rewarded but those who toe the line and conform. The conformist is the king. The confrontationist is the enemy, even when the confrontation is for a just and worthy cause. That is why we have so many mediocre managers; and so many honest and hardworking men and women who never make it to the top. A man who knows his worth does not usually bow down to authorities. His or her sense of pride does not permit him or her to do that. The less your worth the more you may creep when asked to crawl. And creeping, creeping you may reach the top. The organization, the country may reach the bottom. But who cares?

We must care. We must reach out through dialogue. Even as things are bad, hope is not lost. There are some tall leaders among us whom we must project and work with. With our few tall leaders we must all become healers. Healers to those who have been suppressed by the system. Healers of victims, builders of trust.

With apologies to Rabindranath Tagore:

Where dialogue builds bridges of trust, into that heaven of freedom my Father, let my Country awake.

Published in The Navhind Times, Panorama 05.08.2012